Whatever you want, think about the first step toward making it better. Hate your job? Well, what would you rather do? I'm not advocating quitting, but you could start exploring. You could start researching what you want for your future. You could start becoming an expert in what works for you. And you can start that anytime. The internet is full of websites devoted to whatever it may be that interests you. And you don't have to wait. You can start right now. All it takes is cutting through our excuses and giving ourselves the freedom to explore our hopes and dreams.
There's a famous quote that I'm going to paraphrase, and that quote goes something like this: "Most people live lives of quiet desperation." And what does that mean? I think it means we're very often just going through the motions in our lives. We're putting off until tomorrow the things we really want to do. We're held back by the belief that we're stuck where we are. That there's no way out. We have obligations, we have no plan for our future... We are left with dreams we don't really believe are going to come true anytime soon. "Sure I'd like to take a trip to Europe, but who has the money?" "I am so unhappy in my relationship, but I'm scared to be alone..." "I really need to find a job that I can find meaningful..." Day after day, week after week, year after year we dream of that day when things will get better. We put up with the jobs we don't like, the relationships we find unfulfilling, and we look to the future because that's when things will improve. Well... I'm not so sure that day's going to come if we keep doing the same things we've been doing all of these years. It seems to me that if we don't take steps toward improving our situations, we may find ourselves in the exact same positions we are in today... whether it's next week or next year. But what can we do? We all lead busy lives and we all have things that need to get done. What can we truly do to make the changes we want, without being irresponsible and abandoning our commitments. Well, I'm glad you asked. My thought is that the first step has to be deciding what we really want and then taking the first step toward achieving it. If your relationship is bad, clarify what doesn't work and think about what you can do to make it better. Would talking to your partner frankly and honestly help? If the communication is too strained to do it on your own, what about couples therapy? You never know when a professional might help make it easier to communicate. Whatever you want, think about the first step toward making it better. Hate your job? Well, what would you rather do? I'm not advocating quitting, but you could start exploring. You could start researching what you want for your future. You could start becoming an expert in what works for you. And you can start that anytime. The internet is full of websites devoted to whatever it may be that interests you. And you don't have to wait. You can start right now. All it takes is cutting through our excuses and giving ourselves the freedom to explore our hopes and dreams. These may sound like little steps, however the first part of any journey is not necessarily starting to go... it's figuring out where you want to go. And even if you have obligations you can't get out of right now, and even if you feel that there's nothing you can currently do, you can start to think. You can start to visualize where you'd like to go. And that visualization, that ability to truly form a plan to help actualize your dreams can be done anytime. It can be done right now if you want. Who's going to stop you? All it takes is giving your mind the freedom to envision what you truly want in life. And once you have it visualized, you can explore the steps necessary to make it happen.
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Is anyone reading this a comics fan? Today I read on the internet that the X-Men comic book is doing a storyline which reveals that Iceman, who is one of the X-Men, is gay. This is news because there are not a lot of gay characters in comic books, and apparently a comic character coming out can generate significant publicity. For me, the most exciting part about reading this new is that it's not particularly shocking or surprising to anyone. It's just being reported as something that's being done with the character. It's normal. And I think that's a good thing. Here's why... There was a time when coming out as gay was very risky. If you were an actor there could be devastating ramifications to your career. In fact, being gay was so much of a taboo, that in the early 1980's an actress was rumored to have quit a hit television show because the producers created a storyline that showed her character as being a lesbian. Think about that. An actress leaves a successful television show because of the fear that her character (not even her personally) was going to be seen as gay. Yet, now a successful comic book (one owned by the Walt Disney Company no less) is revealing that one of their most successful franchises has a gay character. A franchise worth millions, probably billions of dollars -- and they're not afraid of a backlash -- of protests -- nothing. It's no big deal. Think of how far we've come in the normalizing of gay relationships in this society for that to happen. That's not to say everything's perfect, but with the growing acceptance of gays and lesbians in our society, things are certainly getting better. I think the key to creating acceptance is to have our differences be "no big deal." On the TV show Scandal, Olivia Pope, a black woman, has had a long-term relationship with two different white men. And what's wonderful about the storyline is that the differences in their ethnicities are completely invisible. No one notices. No one cares. It's not relevant to who the characters are within the storyline. And I believe that ultimately, that's what's going to happen with gay men and lesbian women in our society. They'll just be. They'll just be part of the society. They'll just get to live their lives the way any other person would live theirs... without having special attention brought to them because of their sexual orientation.
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David Schwartz, M.S., LMFTDavid brings a wealth of life experience to his therapy practice. In addition to his therapy training, David has been a self-motivated entrepreneur for over 20 years, as well as working as a producer in the television industry. Archives
January 2021
CategoriesDavid Schwartz, MS., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist # 87261 -
Practicing at: 30961 Agoura Rd., Suite 215, Westlake Village, CA 91361 (818) 351-6258 |